el_M: In the moonlight...

Sunday, September 04, 2005

yah think i have finally seen de light aft a tumultous nite... feels better now... just wondering tt simply working can bring out so much stress n unhappiness in an individual... haiz~

last nite was really one tt i hope i will nvr experience again... i had to juggle A LOT of stuff in 1 time... cos i nid to do an online quiz thr n then, as well as submit a lab report and prepare for another lab and 2 tests, one of which is ORGANIC CHEM, not forgetting the tutorials due nxt week... just thinking of them unnerves me already... so even though i had done the lab report earlier to allow me more time to do other stuff... but, it only took a friend to point out the mistakes in my report and thus it means redoing it! so all de effort last week... down the drain... i had to face tt tight situation again...

well, the above is only studies... even thou i had my status on msn as a big "BUSY" word... thr was still more stuff pouring in... i had to deviate frm my studies to look at the jam x poster cos the font wasn't tt nice... then thr was tt proposal im supposed to send in for yishun scs year end camp... of which bryan rejected nearly all my ideas! well, im not sore of having my ideas scrapped, but it means coming up wif A LOT more ideas... wads worse is tt de report is due on wednesday! then thr was the constant reminder tt thr was a lot of things to do for jam x... like confirming the venue, checking for the amenities they r giving, any official event companies, getting their logo since the posters have to be printed... really just want to put all of them aside for a week or so... but well i think its impossible... "too many things to do liao"

all these stuff just pile up upon me, layer by layer, till i feel like a piece of rock undergoing sedimentation... such a heavy load! n the constant reminder of "many things to do" completely demoralises me... till the point whr i finally broke down at 3am... yes i noe it does not sound MANLY at all for a guy to cry BUT I DID!!! tears just clouded my vision n i cant concentrate on my studies n work... all the time thinking "Y is thr so much work to do??? Y???" Realised tt any more cramming will neither improve my situation nor improve my near zero productivity. I just gave it all up n went for bed...

dis morning, i woke up rather early... again, not enuff sleep... but at least i feel better, shrugged it off as stormy weather n aft my breakfast, continued my battle...it seems easier now, wif a clear mind to do stuff n i think by now ive completed more than half my organic chem test prep... feel so relieved...

so now, after a good shower, i think i really nid to pen down all these in case i forget such a nite i had been thru... think id better ask for an extension for my proposal to be handed in so tt i can finish my stuff wif ease of mind...

so pplz, if u find tt ure getting so stressed tt it seems u cannot take it anymore, take a rest... dun keep thinking tt by resting u give urself less time onie... cos reeling in tt kind of shock wun help matters at all... n also, if u actually find a fren undergoing such a situation... just ignore him, cos i think any kind of words u tell him/her will make it worse... erm... de most force him to get off those n rest up... NEVER EVER remind him/her of de work to be done, its no better than giving him even more things to worry...

i think all of us r learning along as we live, how to interact n how to handle things well... so well i shall treat wad has happened to me as a lesson... hopefully i can handle such situations better nxt time... yea...

i think i muz thank god tt i didn take any extra modules or ran for any MC, be it CSC or CAC... cos if i did, i might have to make an appointment wif some psychiatrist by now hahaz

Dennis ~ 2:06 pm